Getting Lost

Last Winter. 

There was warmth in the shivering cold of Minnesota.

Miles behind me and miles ahead. All covered in snow.

I could hear the echo of my own breath

I could hear the river in the valley which was about to freeze.

I felt no weight on my shoulder,

No wrinkles on my forehead.

The trees stood still and so did the time.

Happiness was everywhere,

And there was no price to pay for it.

I stood there as a formless creature till my toes started to freeze.

When was the last time you were lost in the moment?

Do you remember?

ಚಿಂತೆ

ಕಡಲ ಅಲೆಗಳ ಓಡಲ ತಡೆಗಳ
ಎಣಿಸಿ ಪೋಣಿಸಿ ಅಲಂಕರಿಸಿ 
ಇಲ್ಲದ ಲೆಕ್ಕವ ಸಲ್ಲಿಸಲು 
ಅಜ್ಞಾತರಿಗೆ ಆಹ್ವಾನ ನೀಡಿರಲು,
ದೂರದಿಂದ ಕಂಡ ಆನಂದರಾಯನು
ಮೋಡಗಳಲಿ ಚಿತ್ತಾರ ಮೂಡಿಸಿ
ಹೂಗಳ ಮೇಲೆ ಪಾತರಗಿತ್ತಿಯ ಬಿಟ್ಟು
ಸೀಟಿ ಊದುತ್ತ ನಡೆದು ಹೋದ.
"ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ ಇಲ್ಲಿದೆ" ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿದಂತೆ ಬಾಗಿಲ ಕೊಂಡಿಯು ಗಾಳಿಯ ನೆಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಸದ್ದು ಮಾಡತೊಡಗಿತು.

War at peace

"If you give me a ride, I will probably not kill you" read the lines on a cardboard on the sides of Interstate 40.

Hitchhiker alert! exclaimed Anna, a lonely traveler on the long, straight never ending roads of the wild west.

Basil, the stranger promptly thanked the driver for her risk taking endeavor and started with the customary small talk. After a few monosyllabic replies from Anna, the bookmarked copy of "War and peace" swiftly grabbed his attention. 

It was just the first chapter, and for reasons known to him alone, he started reading it aloud.

Prince Vasili always spoke languidly, like an actor repeating a stale part. Anna Pavlovna Scherer on the contrary, despite her forty years, overflowed with animation and impulsiveness. To be an enthusiast had become her social vocation and, sometimes even when she did not feel like it, she became enthusiastic in order not to disappoint the expectations of those who knew her...

Basil, cutting into his own reading: See, this is what I don't understand! Why create an image and then try to hang on to it, though you don't feel like it?!

Anna: Excuse me?!

Basil: Anna Pavlovna's character in this scene. Why does she have to do things she doesn't want to do?

Anna: Because we create those images for a reason, guided by our motives. Sometimes selfish, sometimes not. As long as we are in the pursuit of those motives, "not feeling like it" is just a brick in the wall.

Now, if you allow me to drive....

Basil, cutting in again: I still don't get it! Won't you be cheating yourself and others? Don't you see this as a passive form of lying?

(So much in Anna's eyes to say, if only he paid a little attention)

Basil, continuing: I would be so much more happier if people would just as be with me as they felt like it!

(Sound of brakes and a sudden halt)

Anna: Can you please get down from my car?

Basil: Why, What happened?!

Anna: Nothing, I just felt like it. 

As the Interstate 40 became home to the cardboard sign again, the pages from the novel in the car flipped back and forth...

The subdued smile which, though it did not suit her faded features, always played round her lips expressed, as in a spoiled child, a continual consciousness of her charming defect, which she neither wished, nor could, nor considered it necessary, to correct.

"I'm fine" .. O really?!

"Hi, how are you?"
"I am fine"

I don't know how many times, the same exact combination of these words have been repeated since time immemorial. Who started this? whoever did, sure had a wicked sense of humor.

I remember the speaker in my first ever corporate training telling, no body really wants to know how you are actually doing, just make a habit of saying you are fine.

Being someone who was new to the etiquette of formal meets and greets I decided to nod on that topic and agree to do what was expected to be done.
(Are we out of ideas as a species to do something else than the ever repeated set of sentences to get our morning started or  get a conversation going?)

What is the point of asking someone how they are if you don't have the time or energy to spend in listening to them. If you want to ask me how I am, you better be prepared to listen a neurotic monologue! 

Speaking of monologues, you should listen to this (even if you have already!)

AND

What is the point of telling someone you are fine when you are actually not?!

Nobody is ever fine!

Its like setting life on cruise control. "Here we go 70 miles per hour. The road is long and straight and the music is on".

Really? I don't think so! I believe that the road is full of ups and downs, curves and company.

Accelerations, decelerations and sudden unexpected brakes. 
(I will take this one back, I should stop being too much of a traffic engineer!).

Anyway, the point is:
No! life can't be just fine. Fine is like those statistical measures, like average so so so of so so so is..

You have a hundred things on your mind! Ones that make you laugh your heart out, and the ones that make you sweat, bleed and have those moist eyes that you want to deny.
If your life is "fine", being the tiniest bit of the infinite randomness that you and me are, I ask you to get out and go take a fucking chance!

ಜೀವನ್ಮೊಹ

ಬರದ ಬವಣೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಭಾವನೆಗಳ ಕೊರತೆ ಇಲ್ಲ,
ಇಂದು ನಾಳೆಗಳ, ಹುಟ್ಟು-ಸಾವುಗಳ ಬದುಕು.
ಆಸೆಗಳ ಆಗಸಕೆ ಏಣಿ ಇಡುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ.
ನೀಗದ ಹಸಿವಿಗೆ ಉಣಬಡಿಸುವ ಆಡಂಬರ.

ತೋದಲ್ ನುಡಿ ಮೊದಲ್ ನಡೆ
ತುಂಟ ಮನ, ಬಿಸಿಯ ತನು.
ಕಣ್ ಹನಿ, ಕಿರು ನಗೆ
ತುಂಬಿದ ಬಸಿರು, ಮೆಲ್ಲ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು.
ನೆನಪುಗಳ ಸಂತೆಯ ಕರೆತರುವ ನೆಪಗಳು.

ಈ ನಶೆಯ ಉಯ್ಯಾಲೆಯಲಿ ತೇಲದವರಾರು?
ಕಾಲನಾ ಚಕ್ರದಲಿ ಉರುಳದವರಾರು?
ಸೃಷ್ಟಿಯಾ ಚಿತ್ರದಲಿ ಬಣ್ಣವಾಗದವರಾರು?

ಸ್ವ-ತಂತ್ರ

ನೂರಾರು ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳೆ, ಹದಿ ಹರೆಯದ ಹೃದಯಗಳೆ
ವಾಸ್ತವದ ಹಳ್ಳಕ್ಕೆ ಬೀಳುವಿರೇಕೆ?
ತಮ್ಮದೇ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಗೆ ಕೊಡಲಿಯೇಕೆ?

ಭಯದ ನೆರಳಲಿ ಸೂರ್ಯಕಾಂತಿ ಅರಳದು
ನಿಂತ ನೀರು ಸಾಗರವ ಸೇರದು

ಚಿಗುರಿದ ಮೊಳಕೆಯ ಚಿವುಟದಿರಿ
ಕಣ್ಣ ಮುಚ್ಚಿ ಸ್ವತಃ ಕುರುಡರಾಗದಿರಿ

ಭಾವನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಜೀವವುಂಟು
ಸಾದ್ಯತೆಯ ಅರಿವುಂಟು

ಛಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಶಾಂತಿ ನೆಲೆಸಲಿ
ಕನಸುಗಳು ನನಸಾಗಲಿ

ದೈನಂದಿನ ಹಿಗ್ಗಾಟಕೆ ಕೊನೆ ಇರಲಿ
ನಿಲ್ಲದ ಹೋರಾಟಕೆ ದನಿ ಇರಲಿ

Time!

Time. From scientists to poets, time has been a thing of fascination to all.

What does it mean to me?

It means everything is temporary, the sad times as well as the happy ones.
It means nothing lasts forever.
It means there is nothing to be sorrow for!
It means there is everything to be cherished.
Failures, heart breaks, shocks, embarrassments.
The joy, the happiness, the tears, the smiles.
Every breath, every thought, every pulse.

Well, that's what I think of time. (At this point of "time!")

It's everywhere, in the past, in the future, in the undefined, indefinite space.
This is the time of the times!